


a little less human, a little more real

by palateens



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jack Zimmermann's Overdose, M/M, Major Character Injury, Period-Typical Homophobia, brief deadnaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 11:44:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13053336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palateens/pseuds/palateens
Summary: Kent watches it happen in slow motion.





	a little less human, a little more real

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Betweenthepies (Reikiari)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reikiari/gifts).



> Just quick background in case you're new to my characters. The OCs are from the series [Ace Off](http://archiveofourown.org/series/807516) which is about Kent's time in Vegas.

2009

Jack’s room is in ruins. Every trophy and award he ever won is either torn and strewn across the floor or lying broken and limp against bruised and battered walls. Kent’s shouting his name, but no one is answering. No one’s coming.  
There’s a shadow underneath the door of Jack’s bathroom. He tries to open the door, but something heavy is weighing against it on the other side. Out of stupidity, or some flawed sense of instinct, he pushes slowly.  
Jack’s head thumps against the cold, white tile floor. A bottle of tiny blue pills slips from his lifeless hand.  
Kent hears someone screaming. In hindsight, he’ll realize that it’s him.  
He doesn’t know how he does it, but he calls 911. He tells them the Zimmermanns’ address.  
Is he breathing? The woman on the line asks at one point.  
That’s when his mind goes to mush, when the world blurs and time grinds to a halt.  
He remembers begging the paramedics to let him go too. He vaguely remembers calling Jack’s parents. His sentences weren’t coherent. But he remembers giving them the address of the hospital and telling them to hurry.  
He calls a cab that he can’t yet afford to take. He puts on a Rimouski sweatshirt two sizes too large for him that still smells like dried alcohol from the night before. He begs the receptionist, and then the nurses in the emergency room, to let him through. He hears the same line over and over like a broken record.  
Family only, no exceptions.  
The words reel in his head and cut up his heart. Hadn’t he just given the last three years of his life to being Jack’s family? His entire world?  
Kent curls himself into a seat in the waiting room. Bob and Alicia hardly acknowledge him past asking where is he? Where’s their son?  
They spend the night in Jack’s room, teetering between keeping him company and holding a vigil. Kent spends the night fluctuating between nightmares and restless sleep.  
Jack’s heart stops for a minute sometime around three in the morning. Kent feels it in his bones. He mutters a few Hail Marys when he can. He barters his life for Jack’s. He waits for some sign of things to come.  
All he hears is the whirring of machines in the distance and the way the receptionist’s nails click against her keyboard. Nothing changes, and no one comes for him.  
He cries until he’s shaking, dehydrated on the floor. He stops breathing for a minute around sunrise. A nurse puts him on an IV tap, talking him through a panic attack. Alicia comes to see him sometime around four the next day. She signs him out and sends him in a cab back to her house.  
Get dressed, she murmurs softly. It’s your big night. You’ve earned this. Jack would want you to be there.  
It’s all white noise to him. White lies fluffed up into passive pleasantries.  
He goes to the draft alone. Every atom in his body is screaming for him to leave, to pack up and go back to the hospital. That’s where he’s needed. He doesn’t, because he’s officially on the clock. He tells himself that this is practice. If he can get through the worst 24 hours of his life with his most gracious media smile on, maybe he has a shot.  
It’s just one day. That’s all he needs to get through.

  
_/.\\_

  
He dreams of that night a lot. Sometimes he finds a way to get to the hospital room by himself. Sometimes he makes it in time to stop Jack from overdosing in the first place. Most often, however, it’s an endless chase for an ambulance as the deafening tone of a heartbeat flatlining.  
Every time he wakes up feeling cold and alone.  
After he starts sleeping with Goose, some of the dreams turn him into the target of Kent’s trauma induced anxiety.  
Either way, Kent gets woken up in between strong arms littered with matching tattoos with soft reassurances in punjabi to lull him back to sleep. It makes him feel a little less raw. It isn’t perfect, but Goose reminds him that it’s ok to feel vulnerable and seek comfort.

  
_/.\\_

  
2012

  
Kent watches it happen in slow motion. There’s a shift change for the power play against the Bruins. They’re ten minutes away from pulling overtime, and the game is tied at nothing. It’s the end of a long roadie, and everyone wants to go home.  
Some of the wingers have been giving them shit all game. Ozzy gets clipped in the first period. Kent gets a dislocated shoulder in the second period. Goose gets slammed into the boards in the third. He’s hit so hard he falls and doesn’t get back up.  
The Bruins winll 1-0. Nathan’s sent to a nearby hospital on a stretcher. He’s non-responsive.  
Kent has to make a statement during post. His lungs heave in a way they haven’t in years.  
“Nathan’s a great guy and a great player. Our hearts are with him and his family during this trying time. We’re praying for his speedy recovery.”  
They’re carted back to their hotel. Someone from the front office has gotten in contact with the hospital. They sit in Jeff’s room for a while, trying to figure out what to do next. Perry calls Nathan’s parents. Carter orders pizza. Ozzy puts on TV for background noise.  
Kent’s phone rings an hour later. Someone introduces theirself as a nurse at the hospital Nathan was admitted to. They use a name Kent hasn’t heard in years. It makes him feel a little numb.  
“Nathan listed you as his emergency contact,” they say.  
Kent gets up, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him. It’s the first time he’s done so since he found Jack the night before the draft.  
“Yea ok, I’ll be there soon,” he says making his voice as high as possible.  
He opens the door to ten pairs of eyes watching him closely. He doesn’t put on a brave face for them. He just nods and asks for things: a sweater from Jeff, a beanie from Carter, eyeliner and eyeshadow from Perry. He takes off his packer and tries not to feel naked.  
He asks Smithy quietly if he can borrow his wedding ring. Smithy nods solemnly, slipping it on him for good measure.  
“Text us when you get there,” Smithy says.  
“Ok,” Kent agrees. He walks to the door like a soldier going to war.  
“That’s it?” Perry shouts. “You’re just going to do this all on your own?”  
Kent frowns, looking back over his shoulder. “Uh, yea?”  
Perry shakes his head. “Tonto, I’m coming too.”  
“And me,” Jeff says.  
“Yea, you’re not icing us out of this,” Ozzy adds.  
Carter grimaces at him. “Puns aside, c’mon, let’s go.”  
West pays for their cab, ignoring their protests that they could do it themselves. Kent spends the ride with his head on Jeff’s shoulder. Perry murmurs Hail Marys with a conviction Kent wished he could muster.  
“What’s the plan when we get there?” Carter asks.  
“I’m going in, seeing if he’s ok, waiting for his parents to get in,” Kent says mechanically.  
“Yea about that,” Ozzy says, “what’s with the get up?”  
Kent let’s out a shaky breath. “Ever have something go so wrong you spend fucking forever thinking ‘if I had done this it would’ve been fine’?”  
Jeff tenses next to him. They both know what he’s talking about. Kent clenches his fists as he tries to get more air into his lungs. Perry nudges him lightly, mindful of his injured shoulder.  
“It’s going to be ok,” Perry murmurs.  
Kent’s exhausted enough to believe him. Carter thanks the driver and gives him an extra tip to keep quiet. They walk through the ER waiting room like a funeral procession. Kent has to keep reminding himself that this isn’t what they’re doing. It’s not the same. He’s not the same.  
He doesn’t know this hospital. But he can feel the way the walls are closing in, the lights are flickering too bright. He hears Ozzy humming quietly behind him and tries to focus on that.  
He shudders, closing his eyes briefly before approaching the reciopist. He adjusts the beanie on his head slightly, trying to make his curly bangs frame his face a little more delicately.  
“I’m here for Nathan Chopra,” he says in a soft voice. “I’m his wife.”  
“Name?” the receptionist says without looking up.  
“McKenzie Vasquez...Chopra,” he says.  
“We’ve been waiting for you Ms. Vasquez,” she says. “A doctor will be right out to speak to you.”  
“Thanks,” he says before taking a seat between Carter and Ozzy.  
“So that’s your deadname,” Ozzy says.  
“Yea,” Kent grumbles.  
Jeff clasps his hands, and then unclaps. He rocks back and forth in his seat. “Is this really what you want?”  
“No,” he admits. “I wanna be home with you dorks and Goose, all safe and sound.”  
Perry clears his throat.  
“But someone’s gotta be there for him,” Kent says.  
No one contradicts him, nor do they stop him when a doctor addresses him as Ms. Vasquez and asks him to follow her back.  
“He’s asked about you,” the doctor says.  
“Yea?” he asks carefully.  
“He keeps saying ‘where’s Kenny?’” she looks at him carefully. “That’s you, right?”  
“Yea...he hasn’t called me that in a while.”  
The doctor smiles at him like she knows all she needs to about their story.  
“He’s experiencing some light sensitivity, so we’re trying to keep them off,” she explains as they arrive in front of Nathan’s room.  
Kent takes a deep breath as he opens the door. He’s never gotten this far in his nightmares.  
Nathan’s turned toward the set of windows in his hospital room. Kent tells himself to breathe, then he does it again and again. Somehow, he makes it to the bed.  
“It’s the 19th,” Nathan grumbles without turning around. “My name is Nathan Amar Chopra, I was checked during a power play during the third period against the Bruins. We beat the Falconers yesterday. My emergency contact is—”  
“About that,” Kent says.  
Nathan tenses, rolling over to face him. “Hi,” he says.  
“Hey,” Kent says breathlessly. “Hospital called.”  
“Good,” he says with a nod. “Told them to as soon as I got here.”  
Kent snorts rolling his eyes. Nathan’s eyes twinkle with bemusement. He makes room for Kent on the bed. Kent slips off his shoes before settling in next to him. Kent pulls Nathan gently into his chest.  
“I like the eyeliner,” Nathan says.  
Kent grins into Nathan’s hair. It smells like sweat and blood. He tries to keep his mind off worst case scenarios. He’s stable, Kent reminds himself.  
“Yea? You’re not just saying that?”  
“Not really,” Nathan says. “You’re handsome and I love you.”  
Kent hums. “They’re using my deadname around here.”  
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I changed my emergency contact a while ago. Knew you’d want to see me...if anything like this happened.”  
Kent shakes his head. “Not mad, babe. Maybe a little freaked out but…”  
“I’m alright,” he says.  
Kent huffs. “Yea, you are.”  
Kent takes a deep breath, letting the whirring of the hospital around them soothe him for once.  
I’m ok, we’re ok, they tell each other like a mantra. Like a life raft rowing gently to shore. The nurses will be checking in all night, and the doctor needs to run more tests in the morning. But Nathan’s doing alright all things considered.  
“I love you,” Kent says as they drift off to sleep.  
“I love you more,” Nathan says.  
Kent laughs. “Never.”  
He tells himself it’ll be alright because they’ll be alright. It’s just one day. That’s all they need to get through.

**Author's Note:**

> fic title -- lyrics from Roslyn by Grey Season 
> 
> This wasn't long enough to include in my [Ace Off AUs](http://archiveofourown.org/series/808581) but there will definitely be more for this universe later!


End file.
